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A journey through Grief, the beginning

Posted on June 9, 2016 at 10:05 AM

I am so pumped! It’s Saturday and my cousin, Ronda, from Rhode Island is up for a visit. We’d been best friends as kids and since I moved to Maine I haven’t seen her much at all. Actually I haven’t seen anyone much at all this summer since I spent most of it about 1900 miles away from home in Texas with my big brother and his family. My summer thus far had involved meeting lots of military acquaintances, eating fantastic tacos and a lot of time spent babysitting a rather privileged five-year-old little girl. I’m happy to be home but even happier that I have my license now so I can get off this dirt road in the middle of nowhere and have some fun. Ronda and I decide to head to Waterville about a forty minutes away to a dance club for teens that my friends have been raving about. We grab some food and head over to the club only to find that it is closed for the weekend! Seriously what are the chances that the one time I decide to go they aren’t open? As we’re contemplating how lame our night just got I remember that there is a club fairly close to it that allows teens as well. This one has basically two sections, one side is over 21 and one is under 21. I give my mom a quick call to ask about the change of plans and a later curfew since this club opens later. With the thumbs up we are off to Champions. Its rather crowded inside and the lighting is rather low, except near the dance floor where it’s a little bit brighter. We grab a two top table and begin chatting as we watch others out on the dance floor. I notice one guy who seems to quite comfortable on the dance floor, and I assume he’s a regular here. He and his friend are doing in sync dance steps in the center of the floor while everyone else dancing among the extremities of it. Ronda and I laugh about the rather horrible outfit that he is wearing, purple pants and a mustard colored turtleneck. “What was he thinking?” Seemed to be our shared opinion of it. The conversation then turns to school and what grades we’ll be going into in less than a month. I seriously can’t believe I’ll be a senior in High School, time seems to have flown by. As we talk I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see a man beside me, his face is level with mine. He has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. Beautiful blue with a center of vibrant green. I’m lost, dumbfounded and suddenly have to consciously focus on closing my mouth it’s then I realize he is waiting for an answer. Oh God what did he say? “What?” I hear myself mutter. “Would you like to dance?” he replies. “Sure” I say nonchalantly. He takes my hand and walks me to the dance floor. My heart is racing; I mean seriously what’s wrong with me? I never have this reaction to guys and my answer to questions like his is usually no. Why does he feel so different? What did I see in his eyes? I continue to interrogate myself as I feel his arms wrap around me and he moves us to the rhythm of the slow song playing. He’s about a foot taller than me and yet it feels perfect in his arms. I look up to see his eyes, his smile again to hopefully answer my own questions. I realize then that it’s him, Oh My God I’m dancing with the outfit! Just then he gazes down at me grinning and it’s clear the outfit doesn’t matter, being beside him feels like nothing I’ve ever felt before. We chat for the rest of the evening and I do my best to keep my guard up and not let him see that I’m melting. Saying goodbye in the parking lot after the club closed seemed surreal, we exchanged information and he gave me a quick hug and kiss before we parted. Ronda and I laughed on the way home about how I said yes to the outfit. We were both exhausted and crashed out as soon as we got back home. After a late night I had absolutely no intention of waking up early, that changed however when my brother knocked on my bedroom door telling me I had a phone call. It’s some guy named “Derek” he grumbled walking away from my doorway. I grabbed the phone muttering something like “it better be my cousin Derick”. “Hi! remember me from like eight hours ago?” he said laughing. “What are you up to today and can I see you? “My heart raced and yet again without any thought or hesitation I found myself saying yes.

We were inseparable from that day forward. When he introduced me to his mother he stood beside me saying “wouldn’t we make beautiful babies together? “By two weeks into the relationship he was telling me I would be his wife someday which I laughed off. But deep inside I could not deny the amazing connection we had. I knew what I felt when I looked into his eyes, it felt like home. How it felt when he wrapped his arms around me, like absolute comfort and security. I was in awe every day with his kindness not only towards me but also towards anyone he came in contact with. I’d never met anyone like him, he made fast friends everywhere he went and always had a smile on his face.

He was completely right by the way; we would spend our lives together. Within a year we were married with our first child on the way. We could not get enough time together and genuinely always put the other persons needs first. He brought out a happiness and zest for life in me that exceeded any I had prior and I in him.

 

Categories: A Journey Through Grief

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